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Showing posts with label Teaching Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teaching Kids. Show all posts
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Teaching Kids Money Management
I suggest parents not to link everything to money. I have seen parents say, “We cannot buy this because it needs a lot of money” when kids asks for something or even saying “This was so expensive” when kids break something. In this way, kids start thinking that everything comes with money and they start putting money first and then start developing complex regarding 'rich and poor'.
Instead we should relate things to 'our needs', 'emotions', ‘family values’, ‘family rules’, ‘our requirements’, ‘future plans’, etc.
My son was really fascinated by a convertible car he saw everyday to school in the parking lot. He too wanted a car with no roof on top. :0 I tried distracting him, though it helped sometimes but not always. After much hassle, we told him that different people have different likings and they buy things accordingly. This is what daddy and mummy thought was best for you and so we bought it.
So, we got an attractive piggy bank for him and I make him put a 10 rupee note everyday in it before he leaves for school. And I told him “The reason we put the money in the piggy bank is that we want to save enough money to buy the car you like.” I remind him of this every day. And at the end of the month, we open the piggy bank with a key and we count the money. And like to see how his face brightens up with a smile every time he sees his collection.
By doing this I just wanted him to know that things are got after months of saving!
I have decided how to teach money management to my son Umar in the future (when he is around 8):
*I will give Umar regular consistent allowance...and let him decide and purchase what he can afford (like games, toys etc) with his allowance.
*I will also suggest him that some of his allowances should be kept aside for savings for his future big purchases (preferably a Piggy bank).
*Gifts from relatives in the form of cash will also be made as allowances.
I believe that if children do not have their own money, they cannot learn how to handle it.
About the amount of allowance to be given to kids..It fully depends on the age and on their parents.
My Mom used to gift me some toys/games whenever I used to do a good job and allowances were given occasionally on some festivals.
Hope this works.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Care Of Eyes
“The eyes are the mirror of the soul”
Do's:
Don'ts:
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Handling An Over-Active Kid's Behaviour
I think we parents have to change before we can change the behavior of a child.
When something goes wrong with my son, the first solution for me is to find out what I did wrong to be in this situation
Hitting the child is not the solution at all, on the other hand he will become more violent & stubborn. And what example are we setting by doing this? That hitting is acceptable, if we can do this then why can't the child.
By hitting you are making the child’s condition worse. First & foremost you have to stop hitting them at any circumstances. I'll tell you step by step:
Do's:
1. Involve the child in as much physical activities as you can, for example: cycling, swimming, skating. If you can give them physical exercise for at least 30-40min daily it will be very useful. Start at an earliest, if the child can't take this much in one attempt you can make them do it in two sessions.
2. Ignoring the child’s negative behavior & praising their positive behavior helps a lot. Do it. Be consistent but if you find that still they are throwing tantrums then you can make them sit, you yourself bend on your knees, hold their hands, look into their eyes & tell them firmly to stay quiet, Apart from this you can use timeout punishment which works with many of the kids. For this you can make them sit in a corner of your house which you can name as "naughty corner" or whatever & make them sit there for 3 minutes & at that time no one should talk to them or listen to them, if they get up & come to you, you should again make them sit there. (I tried the idea of making a punishment corner for my son too. Twice he was punished and I had to keep him in the naughty corner, the third time he made a mistake and himself went and sat there and gave me a big smile :) I could not resist that and gave him a big hug)
3. Remember the child is not going to change right away or in a flash of a moment. You'll have to be consistent. Don't change your steps each time. Use same solutions every time so that the child understands that their tantrums are not going to work. They have to listen and this is what happens when they do something wrong or don’t listen.
4. Do talk to your partner before deciding on how and what to do to change the child’s behavior.
5. Don't hit them at all. Hitting will make them more stubborn and later fearless.
It’s a long and stressful process but has to be immediately to avoid situations getting worse and out of hand.
6. If the child starts crying thinking that this is the only way to get their work done. Don't talk to them until they stop crying. Tell them they need to talk and crying will not work.
7. Also, see what he has for lunch and dinner. Too much sugar or too much spicy food also makes one hyper.
8. Set some basic rules for them. For example, before leaving for a park you can say that no hitting or fighting at the park and we will be back at so and so time so no arguments there.
9. When we are irritated we hit so when children are irritated they hit too because that’s what they grasped from us. So, the next time when you are upset talk to yourself in your child's presence. (I learnt this in some book and it definitely worked for me.) “I am angry right now. I wonder what I can do to make myself feel better. I know I will go count my blocks, or read my books" or say whatever you think you will love doing then! That’s what they will also start doing eventually...
10. Sometimes we want kids to be little adults and always crib around saying don’t do this, don't do that, don't jump, don't walk like that, don't giggle like that. Hearing this too much the kids just get immune to the word "no"...besides why on earth should they be restricted all the time. They are kids after all and I think anything that is safe and harmless to do should definitely be allowed
When something goes wrong with my son, the first solution for me is to find out what I did wrong to be in this situation
Hitting the child is not the solution at all, on the other hand he will become more violent & stubborn. And what example are we setting by doing this? That hitting is acceptable, if we can do this then why can't the child.
By hitting you are making the child’s condition worse. First & foremost you have to stop hitting them at any circumstances. I'll tell you step by step:
Do's:
1. Involve the child in as much physical activities as you can, for example: cycling, swimming, skating. If you can give them physical exercise for at least 30-40min daily it will be very useful. Start at an earliest, if the child can't take this much in one attempt you can make them do it in two sessions.
2. Ignoring the child’s negative behavior & praising their positive behavior helps a lot. Do it. Be consistent but if you find that still they are throwing tantrums then you can make them sit, you yourself bend on your knees, hold their hands, look into their eyes & tell them firmly to stay quiet, Apart from this you can use timeout punishment which works with many of the kids. For this you can make them sit in a corner of your house which you can name as "naughty corner" or whatever & make them sit there for 3 minutes & at that time no one should talk to them or listen to them, if they get up & come to you, you should again make them sit there. (I tried the idea of making a punishment corner for my son too. Twice he was punished and I had to keep him in the naughty corner, the third time he made a mistake and himself went and sat there and gave me a big smile :) I could not resist that and gave him a big hug)
3. Remember the child is not going to change right away or in a flash of a moment. You'll have to be consistent. Don't change your steps each time. Use same solutions every time so that the child understands that their tantrums are not going to work. They have to listen and this is what happens when they do something wrong or don’t listen.
4. Do talk to your partner before deciding on how and what to do to change the child’s behavior.
5. Don't hit them at all. Hitting will make them more stubborn and later fearless.
It’s a long and stressful process but has to be immediately to avoid situations getting worse and out of hand.
6. If the child starts crying thinking that this is the only way to get their work done. Don't talk to them until they stop crying. Tell them they need to talk and crying will not work.
7. Also, see what he has for lunch and dinner. Too much sugar or too much spicy food also makes one hyper.
8. Set some basic rules for them. For example, before leaving for a park you can say that no hitting or fighting at the park and we will be back at so and so time so no arguments there.
9. When we are irritated we hit so when children are irritated they hit too because that’s what they grasped from us. So, the next time when you are upset talk to yourself in your child's presence. (I learnt this in some book and it definitely worked for me.) “I am angry right now. I wonder what I can do to make myself feel better. I know I will go count my blocks, or read my books" or say whatever you think you will love doing then! That’s what they will also start doing eventually...
10. Sometimes we want kids to be little adults and always crib around saying don’t do this, don't do that, don't jump, don't walk like that, don't giggle like that. Hearing this too much the kids just get immune to the word "no"...besides why on earth should they be restricted all the time. They are kids after all and I think anything that is safe and harmless to do should definitely be allowed
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Disciplining Your Toddler
One of my friend recently asked me a question: “How to bring discipline in a pampered child without the change affecting him in a negative way mentally”
What to do and how to discipline a toddler who thinks he can get everything done by crying. Be careful to do it without letting it seem a drastic change or without letting it affect the baby emotionally and mentally
Here are some steps I followed when my son was a toddler:
I knew all his crying tones and what does each of it mean. I always ignored when he was in a blackmailing mood and go to another room. He used to stop crying after sometime and start playing again.
I knew all his crying tones and what does each of it mean. I always ignored when he was in a blackmailing mood and go to another room. He used to stop crying after sometime and start playing again.
I taught him the meaning of "no" ever since he was 6 months old. He knows what to expect and do when he hears a firm but gentle "no" from us.
When he used to ask for something which we didn’t want to give him, then we used to try and divert his attention to other interesting things. He used to forget about his object of desire after sometime.
My thumb rule is: Kids are usually attracted towards glass show pieces and any fancy items they may find fascinating. Sometime they tend to put any items found on the floor in their mouth without realizing that it can be dangerous. So I made it a point to pack away all the glass items, show-pieces, medicines, etc. and keep it out of my son’s reach. What is the point in getting frustrated or angry over a small child if they break or eat any of these items. After all, a very small child does not have clear and deep sense of what is right and wrong.
As a parent, be ready to sacrifice some of the things you love, like coke/ice creams/junk food if you don’t want your child to have it. Children see their parents as role models. They imitate what you do.
As a parent, be ready to sacrifice some of the things you love, like coke/ice creams/junk food if you don’t want your child to have it. Children see their parents as role models. They imitate what you do.
Set some basic rules like: This is yours, that is Dad's and that is Mom's. When they try to pick up something they are not supposed to, you should tell them, "Oh this is Dad's stuff. Does Dad take your stuff?" Trust me it works because I have all fragile items like perfumes, glass show-pieces etc. on my bedroom shelf and my son would just go near it and point out to different bottles and say loudly, "This is Mumma’s" or "This is Papa’s" and then move on without touching.
If the child is overactive, involve them in various physical activities like:
If the child is overactive, involve them in various physical activities like:
Playing cricket with the baby outdoors.
Take them out for cycling in evening. (My son loved tricycle at this age.)
Get the kid a kit of plastic bowling set (pins & balls). Set the pins at end of room and ask the baby to roll the ball. It will not hurt the baby and will keep them occupied for sometime.
Set aside a big plastic basket and fill it with various toys the baby has. Let the baby scatter the objects and then ask them to put all the objects back in the basket by saying, that good children always clean up after playing. Work hard on this. It will take sometime but it surely works. It worked for me.
If the baby has a separate room to play then remove all the high furniture from it and make some floor arrangements.
Notice what makes the kid upset and angry and try to remove the cause. You have to be firm sometimes and lenient sometimes. You should not always say “no” as it ticks them off and a “yes” always spoils the kids. You are the best judge of what is best for the baby.
If you are scolding the child and the other guardian feels that you are wrong, they should tell you this later when child is not around. Children sense who is on their side and then they take advantage of this.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Teaching Kids To Be Independent
Yesterday, I visited one of my friend. My friend was busy preparing some snacks so I joined to help her and we were busy chit-chatting doing our work when her daughter came in and asked for a glass of water. As we both were busy, she told her daughter that a bottle of water was kept in her room and so she can take it from there but instead of obeying the young girl started crying loudly throwing tantrums. And my friend immediately washed her hands and rushed to get her a glass of water.
I feel it's very important that every member in the family participate and take responsibilities. So, this is the one important aspect I've developed in my son. Umar (almost 4 yrs) lends his helping hand in almost everything, be it laying the table, cooking, cleaning-up(clothes, cupboards, toys and everything). I ensure that I don’t over-burden him with his work. Despite the fact that we have a domestic help in our house, yet few things have to be done. This attitude not only makes kids responsible but also gives them the confidence to handle things independently.
Some days back, we had some guests at home. Umar by mistake spilled some juice on the floor. I just pointed this out to him and said “Oh! Umar look at the mess you've created”. He immediately picked up a cloth and cleaned it all up and the guests were amazed that a little boy did his work well. Umar did the cleaning very gracefully and efficiently. After a minute of silence, everybody said– “You've really raised your son well and we are proud of you” and I too felt proud of myself.
These are few of Umar's daily chores:
*Laying the table and clearing(of course, he assists me and my husband in this).
*Keeping newspapers, magazines and books in the assigned place.
*Unpacking his bag after coming from school and keeping the water bottle in the kitchen for wash.
*Making beds (getting pillows and bedsheets for sleeping).
*Organizing stuff like clothes, toys etc.
*Keeping things in their place (shoes, socks etc).
*Assisting me for Sundays special cooking (getting items I need from the fridge )
*Putting his dirty clothes in the laundry bin etc.
I've heard some Moms say that this distract kids from their studies.... But I believe, life has much bigger lessons for learning than just learning stuff that is prescribed in school... And I stand for it. It very important for parents to make the kids feel that as they grow up they have to be responsible for the household activities and there is nothing to be ashamed of it but be sure that they only give you a helping hand and not spend their whole day doing these activities.
I feel it's very important that every member in the family participate and take responsibilities. So, this is the one important aspect I've developed in my son. Umar (almost 4 yrs) lends his helping hand in almost everything, be it laying the table, cooking, cleaning-up(clothes, cupboards, toys and everything). I ensure that I don’t over-burden him with his work. Despite the fact that we have a domestic help in our house, yet few things have to be done. This attitude not only makes kids responsible but also gives them the confidence to handle things independently.
Some days back, we had some guests at home. Umar by mistake spilled some juice on the floor. I just pointed this out to him and said “Oh! Umar look at the mess you've created”. He immediately picked up a cloth and cleaned it all up and the guests were amazed that a little boy did his work well. Umar did the cleaning very gracefully and efficiently. After a minute of silence, everybody said– “You've really raised your son well and we are proud of you” and I too felt proud of myself.
These are few of Umar's daily chores:
*Laying the table and clearing(of course, he assists me and my husband in this).
*Keeping newspapers, magazines and books in the assigned place.
*Unpacking his bag after coming from school and keeping the water bottle in the kitchen for wash.
*Making beds (getting pillows and bedsheets for sleeping).
*Organizing stuff like clothes, toys etc.
*Keeping things in their place (shoes, socks etc).
*Assisting me for Sundays special cooking (getting items I need from the fridge )
*Putting his dirty clothes in the laundry bin etc.
I've heard some Moms say that this distract kids from their studies.... But I believe, life has much bigger lessons for learning than just learning stuff that is prescribed in school... And I stand for it. It very important for parents to make the kids feel that as they grow up they have to be responsible for the household activities and there is nothing to be ashamed of it but be sure that they only give you a helping hand and not spend their whole day doing these activities.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Giving Attention To Your Baby
Most often parents wonder what is the right age for one to start sitting with the child for regular 1-2 hour of study. Whether they should start it from nursery onwards or start slowly till the age of 5-6. So, thought of discussing a few steps we parents should follow with all of you.
Kids (preschoolers) aged 2-4 years will find it difficult to sit for 1-2 hours studying. The best time given to teach them would be 15-25 minutes. This way even the kids will enjoy learning and won't find it a burden a study everyday. Start with small activities and shorter time limit. Do not force the kids to study for 1-2 hrs. at a stretch otherwise they won't be able to focus and learn after 25 minutes. and then you to will get stressed and things will get more complicated. The child will later cultivate a habit of making you happy that they are doing their work, but will start manipulating it. You can start the 15 minutes activity in intervals like 15 minutes in morning, 15 minutes in the afternoon and 15 minutes in the evening. But don't stretch it for long.
Don't ask the baby to sit still if he/she moves a lot. Let them study by the method they are comfortable in. They still learn by listening. Some kids can actually concentrate even when moving or running around. For my son, I find it the most best way to make him run around playing with me before we sit for studies. Then, I start with his favorite activity such as drawing or painting. This helps him to settle down and so he concentrates well.
Always appreciate your child's efforts and work at studies. Even if the child is wrong, say it in a better way :"No Baby! It's not this way but I appreciate that you try" And when they get it right say :"See, you can do it. I'm proud of you." Sometimes, kids do not like to study but these words of encouragement motivates them a lot.
Kids (preschoolers) aged 2-4 years will find it difficult to sit for 1-2 hours studying. The best time given to teach them would be 15-25 minutes. This way even the kids will enjoy learning and won't find it a burden a study everyday. Start with small activities and shorter time limit. Do not force the kids to study for 1-2 hrs. at a stretch otherwise they won't be able to focus and learn after 25 minutes. and then you to will get stressed and things will get more complicated. The child will later cultivate a habit of making you happy that they are doing their work, but will start manipulating it. You can start the 15 minutes activity in intervals like 15 minutes in morning, 15 minutes in the afternoon and 15 minutes in the evening. But don't stretch it for long.
Don't ask the baby to sit still if he/she moves a lot. Let them study by the method they are comfortable in. They still learn by listening. Some kids can actually concentrate even when moving or running around. For my son, I find it the most best way to make him run around playing with me before we sit for studies. Then, I start with his favorite activity such as drawing or painting. This helps him to settle down and so he concentrates well.
Always appreciate your child's efforts and work at studies. Even if the child is wrong, say it in a better way :"No Baby! It's not this way but I appreciate that you try" And when they get it right say :"See, you can do it. I'm proud of you." Sometimes, kids do not like to study but these words of encouragement motivates them a lot.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
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